This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
