I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize