Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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