I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
