You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
