So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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