We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
being pregnant is like rehab
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
