Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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