just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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