Your face is a jimmy john
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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