Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
