I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
