Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
