i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
