Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
