Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize