Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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