wakey wakey hands off snakey
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
