girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Houston, we have a blender
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
