Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
