she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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