i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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