pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
