How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
