Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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