I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
