he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
