he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If I die, sorry about rent.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize