I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
