And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
