Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
