i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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