it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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