hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
