is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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