can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
