Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
In America we eat man semen.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
