I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
