Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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