Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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