..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
