Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
