yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
