there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
