I will die if light touches me.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
