I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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