Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
