i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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