i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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