Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
