Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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