just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize