oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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