I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize