I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
