found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
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