how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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