Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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