please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
