You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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