Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
