You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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