yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
