I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Randomize
