I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
