Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
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