I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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