I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
