yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
