Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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