I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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