People with herpes should wear stickers.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
