Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
