If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Let's get the cat blown out
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
