im holly from the hills drunk
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So. Much. Porn.
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