you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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