You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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