Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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